• Kari

You are not a tree

Updated: Sep 20, 2018

Last year, I decided I didn't like how I wrote my 8s. Odd thing to be dissatisfied with, but I was. Once I noticed it, I couldn't unsee it. Every time I had to write an 8, the two circles that sat on top of each other stared back at me. Mocking me. I thought back to when I learned to write and wondered why I had made them this way. Also, why did it bother me? Do you all have therapy sessions with yourself inside your head, or is that just me? (Don't answer that) The conclusion I came to, I could not continue to hate that 8. I write a lot of 8s. So, I would change how I wrote them. It took me 12 days of consciously making the change to a new 8 before it became a habit. The first few days were spent deciding just how I wanted this new 8 to look. As small as it is, I was encouraged. What else stuck out like that to me? Not everything would be as easy to change as writing a new 8, but it could still be changed.

"If you don't like where you are, move. You are not a tree."

I realize neither of them are perfect, but I am happier with the new 8.

The small victory of the 8 made it easier to look at other things I wanted to change. I made the conscious effort to not be a yelling mom, as that had recently been a result of my stress. Little by little, I noticed the yelling going away and almost be nonexistent. I spoke up more to my husband when I was unhappy with something, vowing to not just settle for a mediocre life but reach for a great one. I started this blog! I wrote a book, you guys! It is still sitting on my computer waiting for daylight, but I wrote it! I have been a writer my whole life. I love words, and have so much to say. Why was I not writing? I was working under the illusion of all or nothing. Don't we do that in so many aspects of our lives? I can't workout 5 times a week, so I'm just not going to work out at all. (Guilty) I don't have time to read my bible for 3 hours a day in devotion, so I wasn't reading it as much. We couldn't afford elaborate date nights each week, so we didn't go on any. I didn't have time to write a novel, so I wasn't writing at all. Why? What is this all or nothing illusion? Whose rules was I living by, because they certainly weren't mine. So, I started the blog. No followers, and who knows what I would write about, but I started it! And it feels GOOD! Because, I'm doing it for ME! I wrote the book. Not sure how I will get it published, but it's a work in progress - and so am I! I tell my kids that they can be anything and do anything if they are willing to put in the work. Why was I not telling myself?

I will continue working toward many things. Some are much bigger and more challenging and may take years to accomplish, but why not reach for it? It feels so amazing to set a goal, no matter how small, and accomplish it. What is something that you'd love to change? Conquer one little thing at a time. I dare you. #changeyour8